Wedding+Toast

A Toast to Bobby and Martha The Worst Wedding Toast Ever! ** CHARACTER ** — this is a very ditzy character who is a free spirit. She speaks with a New Jersey accent and tends to think things opposite of others. ** SETTING ** — a typical wedding in New Jersey.

** *Ding, ding, ding, crash!* ** //(Glass breaks. She looks at the glass then tosses it over her shoulder)// =Hey, congratulations Bobby and Martha! Martha girl, you’re like my best friend. And I know you love Bobby as much as I love funnel cake, and this story I’ll about to tell will show just how much you love ’im. So here’s my toast to you, doll-face. //(Clears throat)// So a few weeks before the wedding, we was out partyin’. When we got back, Martha was out! And well, she was mumbling in her sleep and she says, “Oh Robert, I love you.” And I’m like, “Oh that’s so sweet!” If you haven’t figured this out already, Robert is Bobby’s real name. But then she goes, “I love you so much more than Bobby.” And I’m like, “Say what?” But I didn’t tell anyone, ‘cause I didn’t want to get involved in all your guy’s drama. But girl, today you erased my doubts, showing up here at the weddin’ with Bobby. This wedding here shows that Martha, you really love Bobby and not that Robert guy you had the affair with. So here’s to Bobby and Martha and their true love! =