A+Valentine's+Day+Wish


 * //Scene One.//** //Enter Lila and Gracie to a high school setting. Gracie is holding back tears.//

Gracie: I hate Valentine’s Day! I hate it!

Lila: That’s not what you said yesterday. What happened?

Gracie: //She drops to her knees and starts bawling.// Nothing!

Lila: //She sits with Gracie.// You are a terrible liar. What happened?

Gracie: It’s Stephen. He doesn’t talk to me any more and won’t hug me and I don’t know why! Today’s Valentine’s Day and my own boyfriend doesn’t even acknowledge that I’m here. What do I do, Lila? //Gracie begins to cry again.//

Lila: I don’t know, Gracie. No one ever asked me out, but I’m guessing Stephen might not be interested any more. //Gracie wails and starts crying even harder.// Oh, God. Shh, it’s ok. I’m just guessing. Breathe, Gracie. //A bell rings and students start scattering onstage and change the set as the scene ends.// Go to class, I’ll talk to you later. //Gracie exits.//


 * //Scene Two//** //The setting has been changed to a classroom decorated for Valentine’s Day. Gracie sits next to a boy with a solemn look on his face (Stephen).//

Lila: Stephen, why won’t you talk to Gracie?

Stephen: No reason.

Lila: //She facepalms and raises her voice slightly.// There has to be a reason! Do you see how much of a wreck Gracie is today?

Stephen: Yes…

Lila: Then why won’t you talk to her!

Stephen: She never stops talking to me! She doesn’t like the same sports I do! I catch her staring at other guys, and she’s a wreck over me? How do you think I feel! //He slams his head down on his desk.//

Lila: Again, never been a relationship so I’m not quite sure what to do. Why don’t you just talk to her?

Stephen: What would the point in that be?

Lila: Because you might both be happier?

Stephen: No. I’m just going to end it.

Lila: On Valentine’s Day???? You heartless boy, you.

Stephen: What? Would you rather I get her hopes up today and then crush them only a day later?

Lila: Good point, but at least let me talk to Gracie first.

Stephen: Fine, //a bell rings,// but I’m only giving you until lunch. //Everyone scatters and changes seats. End scene.//


 * //Scene Three.//** //Gracie and another, slightly sad-looking girl (Anna) sit on either side of Lila.//

Lila: Um… Gracie…

Gracie: What did you find out? What’s going on?

Lila: He… he’s going to break up with you.

Gracie: //Wails.// But whyyyyyyyyy?

Anna: Maybe it’s because you check out and flirt with every guy you see—INCLUDING MY BOYFRIEND—and you openly despise Stephen’s favorite sport!

Gracie: Oh, calm your tits Anna.

Anna: Shut up! You know it’s true.

Gracie: It’s not my fault if **your** boyfriend loves me more than you! I do not check out every guy I see and Stephen is being completely irrational!

Anna: You’re right, he’s being irrational. If I were him I’d have yelled at you instead of ignore you. You lucky, lucky, bi—

Lila: QUIET! Both of you! Gracie, you do check out lots of guys and I get where Stephen and Anna are coming from on this.

Gracie: Oh, come ON Li—

Lila: SHUSH. My God, both of you screaming is going to make me deaf. Anna, what were you saying about Noah?

Anna: Sure, he __acts__ like the perfect boyfriend, but the second Gracie comes around and starts flirting with him like there’s no tomorrow he ditches me completely! He’s obsessed with Gracie when she goes into her little slut mode and now he’s talking to me less and less because of her! I see why Stephen’s pissed. I am too!

Gracie: I do not do that!

Anna: Yes you do, you little skank!

Gracie: That does it! //She shrieks and Anna and Gracie start fighting. The bell rings and Lila runs off stage yelling something like “You people are crazy!”// //The curtain closes as Gracie and Anna keep fighting. End Scene.//


 * //Scene Four.//** //The curtain reopens to a school field setting. Somehow there are Valentine’s Day decorations here too. Anna and Gracie are glaring at each other, Lila is banging her head on the table, Stephen is sitting next to her and Noah is sitting next to Anna but staring at Gracie. A crying girl (Caroline) runs over to Lila and sits between her and Anna.//

Caroline: LILAAAAAAAAAAA!

Lila: Dear Lord, not you too.

Caroline: I’M SO ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!

Lila: So what?

Caroline: It’s Valentine’s Day! I just CAN’T be alone on Valentine’s Day!

Lila: And why’s that?

Caroline: //She has a look of stun on her face as if she couldn’t believe Lila even asked that.// Because it’s Valentine’s Day, stupid! The day of love, amour, amare, lieben, Venus! Aphrodite’s day to shine!

Lila: I don’t think that’s how it started…

Caroline: //Ignoring Lila.// I have no one to love! I feel like Freddie Mercury! //She sings a few lines from “Somebody To Love” by Queen.// What do I do?

Lila: Maybe you don’t have a boyfriend because of your drama-queen attitude. Or guys just don’t like you.

Caroline: Don’t be absurd! There are many guys who like me, they’re just intimidated to ask me out!

Lila: Then why don’t you ask one of them?

Caroline: BECAUSE the guy just __has__ to ask the girl out! It’s how it works!

Lila: //She is now extremely fed up with everything.// You know what? //She is now talking to everyone.// Seeing as you people all have your problems “pre-solved” when you come to me, I’ll just leave! I’m sick of your whining and fighting! All because of a dumb holiday! I can’t believe I ever helped you in the first place! //Lila picks up her backpack and storms offstage. Everyone else watches with gaping expressions. The curtain closes. End scene.//


 * //Scene Five.//** //Lila is sitting in the library [surrounded by Valentine’s Day decorations] reading the book __A Walk To Remember__ by Nicholas Sparks with a longing look on her face. She sighs. From offstage the noise of a door opening and an angry mob is played. A boy with glasses (Timothy) is stepping backwards into the library.//

Timothy: Go solve your own problems! I’m not interested! //A door slamming noise is made from offstage.// God I hate Valentine’s Day… //Lila looks up from her book.//

Lila: Oh, really? I thought I was the only one.

Timothy: No way. With the friends I have, Valentine’s Day is like some sort of sick punishment. I’ve never even had a date.

Lila: Me either… my friends have been driving me insane __all day__ with their relationship problems.

Timothy: Tell me about it! //They laugh a little. He outstretches his had to her.// I’m Timothy.

Lila: //She shakes hands with him.// I’m Lila. //They both pull away very quickly and smile nervously.//

Timothy: So how many years have you gotten chased into the library by your “friends” on Valentine’s Day?

Lila: About… five now? //They laugh again.//

Timothy: Well, maybe not as many for me. //They sit in awkward silence for a moment.// I guess Valentine’s Day isn’t __that__ bad.

Lila: Yeah… um… do you wanna… I don’t know…

Timothy: Go somewhere after school? //He pushes up his glasses nervously.// Sure. //The bell rings and they exit while talking to each other. End scene.//