Cheater,+Cheater

CHEATER, CHEATER Derek: Hey Cheryl. I’m home. Cheryl: Hi Derek, anything interesting happen today at work? Derek: Not really, just the same usual stuff. Cheryl: Oh, because I learned something today that just blew my mind. Derek: Huh. And what is that. Cheryl: Just check your e-mail, but I’m sure you already know… darling. Derek: Why were you reading my e-mail? Cheryl: I was on the computer and a message popped up so I decided to read it hoping it would give some spice to my dull afternoon. And it was everything I hoped for and more. It didn’t just spice up my afternoon, it sprinkled it with gunpower and lit it on fire! Derek: What are you talking about? Cheryl: Read it, Derek. **//(She points to the laptop on the table)//** Derek: **//(Walks over to the laptop and speed reads the e-mail)//** What? I would never— Cheryl: How long, Derek? How long has this been going on? Derek: No, that can’t be true. It must have been sent to the wrong person. Cheryl: For God’s sake, stop lying to me! It says your name in it, Derek. What else are you hiding from me? Cheryl: Yeah, that’s what I thought too, but there’s a first for anything. Here, let me read it to you and maybe the words will get through your thick skull! Derek: Cheryl, I— Jen: Hi, Derek. I had a lot of fun on our date last night. I couldn’t find you at work so I’m e-mailing you. I was wondering when we could go out again. You’re quite the gentleman, and not to mention a good kisser, too. I’m surprised no one’s taken you yet. Well, when you read this, can you call me? That would be great. Hope to see you soon. Jen. **//(Jen exits)//** Cheryl: Yeah Derek, that e-mail was a mistake. Derek: Cheryl, I’m sorry I didn’t know what I was thinking. I-It’s only been a few weeks since we started seeing each other, but I was going to break it off tonight. I’m sorry. I only love you. Cheryl: Your words say you love me, but your actions don’t. You… You cheated on me, Derek. Your wife, who you’ve been married to for a decade. What have I done to make you do this to me? Tell me. Derek: I… I don’t know. Cheryl: You don’t know. That’s not an excuse. Derek: It wasn’t supposed to be. Cheryl: That what is? Are you sick of me? Do you no longer love me? Derek: I told you I love you. Cheryl: And I told you to stop lying. Derek: I’m so sorry, Cheryl. Cheryl: If that’s all you can say, then just get out. Derek: Don’t do this. Cheryl: I said leave you cheating piece of trash! Derek: You know Cheryl, if it wasn’t for me, you’d still be living on the street only making money by— Cheryl: Never talk about when you met me. Never speak about my past. (She let’s go of Derek while pushing him back) Now go! Derek: Have it your way! Cheryl: Here are your bags. **//(She tosses them at Derek’s feet)//** Your lucky I didn’t burn them. Derek: **//(Picks up bags. His line is sarcastic)//** You’re so generous. Cheryl: Drop dead, Derek. **//(She slams the door)//**
 * // (Cheryl is sitting at the table with her hands folded. Derek walks in the door) //**
 * // (Jen, who is the woman Derek had the affair with, enters and stands in the middle of the stage. She speaks to the audience, not Derek and Cheryl, since she is only reading what she wrote on the e-mail) //**
 * // (Derek violently picks up his bag or briefcase and whips around to Cheryl again at the door) //**
 * // (Cheryl grabs Derek by the shirt. Her next line is through clenched teeth) //**

Jen: Oh, hi Derek. Did you get my e-mail? Derek: Yeah, but I didn’t come over to take you out. I kind of have a favor to ask. Jen: Okay, shoot. Derek: Can I stay a few nights here? Jen: Sure, no problem. But what happened? Derek: Oh, um, the exterminator found some bugs in my house and they tented it. Jen: That sucks. Guest room is down the hall to the left. Derek: Thanks, Jen. **//(Walks inside and then offstage)//** Jen: Welcome. Are those your only two bags? Derek: **//(Reenters. His bags are gone)//** No, I have one more in the car. Jen: Here. I’ll get it. Derek: No, it’s okay. I got it. Jen: No, I’ll get it. **//(Takes the bag from the trunk)//** Whoa, that’s heavy. Derek: **//(Gently takes it from her)//** Yeah, that’s the one I stuffed. Jen: Yeah, no kidding. **//(They both laugh lightly)//** So where’s all your other stuff? You know, like pictures and furniture and things. **//(Both walk back into the house. Derek puts the suitcase on the couch)//** Derek: Uh, I put it in storage. But when they were taking it all away, they took some of my other stuff, which had my pictures and money in them. Jen: Oh wow, I would totally go over there and yell at them if that happened to me. Derek: No, I’m glad they took my bag with my credit cards, because then I have an excuse to see you. Jen: **//(Blushing)//** That was really cheesy, Derek, but I liked it. Derek: I do have thirty bucks left. Want to go see a movie? Jen: That sounds fun, but I was thinking a drink first. Derek: I like the way you think, Jenny. Jen: I’ll go get the drinks. **//(She walks out of the room. Derek sits down, a few seconds later Jen returns carrying two glasses)//** Here you go. **//(Hands one of the glasses to Derek)//** Derek: Thanks. **//(Raises the glass. They tap them together and both take a drink)//** Jen: **//(Stars to walk towards the empty seat next to Derek, but she stumbles and spills the champagne on his suitcase)//** Oh, Gosh, I’m so sorry. Derek: **//(Getting up)//** Don’t worry, the champagne will come right out. Jen: Oh, but I don’t want it to soak through. **//(She opens the suitcase and starts to take things out, Derek helps)//** Hey, is this when you went to the Cancun last weekend? **//(She holds up a picture)//** Derek: Oh, um, yeah, I guess. That picture was probably shoved in that suitcase when I was packing my clothes. Jen: Who’s the woman in the picture? Derek: What? Jen: What’s on your finger? Is that a wedding ring? Are you married? Derek: No, I— Jen: **//(She stands up, so does Derek)//** You’re married aren’t you? Oh my Gosh! Derek: No, Jen, we broke up. Jen: Derek, we’ve been dating for a month and a half. You were still with your wife a week ago! Derek: No, you don’t understand. Jen: I’m pretty sure I understand. You cheated on your wife with me. You are a terrible person with no ethics at all! Derek: You know, Jen, it takes two people to have an affair. Jen: Do not point this at me, Derek. When you asked me out, you had no wedding ring. Have you been taking it off before work and putting it back on when you got home? And what about all those dates? What did you tell your wife? Late night at the office? Your house isn’t even tented! Your wife found out and kicked you out, didn’t she? You’re sick! Derek: Jenny, wait. Jen: It’s Jennifier! Now get out! Derek: Jen! Jen: Look what it says on the picture. **//(Holds up photo)//** It says, “Something to remember me by you cheating scum.” And that’s exactly what you are. Derek: But, Jen, I don’t love her, I love you. Jen: And I hate you! And I also told you to leave! Derek: Jennifer please. Jen: Get out! **//(She starts throwing clothes from his suitcase at him)//** Derek: Jen— Jen: **//(Goes offstage and returns with the two suitcases and throws them at Derek)//** Leave! Jen: **//(Throws the last heavy suitcase out the door)//** I never want to see you again!
 * // (Derek knocks on the door. Jen answers) //**
 * // (Jen slaps him across the face) //**
 * // (Derek picks up the two suitcases and exits, trying to avoide the stuff Jen is throwing) //**

Cheryl: I’m sorry, this is a bad time. I don’t want anything you’re selling. Jen: I’m not selling anything, Cheryl, is it? My name is Jennifer Larson. Cheryl: You’re the woman from the e-mail. **//(Jen nods. Cheryl pauses and then starts to close the door)//** Jen: Wait. **//(She stops the door with her hand)//** Cheryl: I’m pretty sure a closing door means I don’t want to talk to you. Jen: Please, just let me speak. Cheryl: Fine. Come in. Jen: I came in here to say I’m sorry. Cheryl: Jennifer, you have nothing to be sorry for. I know you didn’t know Derek was married, but I can’t help but being angry. Jen: Are you mad at me? Cheryl: No, I’m mad at Derek. I just didn’t know he could be so heartless. You know, last week, when Derek and I went to the Cancun, he told me he loved me and I was stupid enough to believe him. Jen: He fooled me too. He made me believe he was a nice person, someone who actually cared. He came over to my house today asking if he could spend the night. I said yes, but then I discovered the truth. I threw him out and I don’t know where he went. Cheryl: I don’t care where he goes; I just hope he gets what he deserves. Jen: Me too. **//(Pause)//** What are you going to do now that’s he’s gone? Cheryl: I’m going to file for divorce tomorrow. Then, I’m changing my will. I’m going to make sure he gets nothing. Jen: Good. And if you ever see him again, you know to like sign divorce papers, punch him in the mouth for me. Cheryl: **//(Smiles)//** Will do. **//(Pauses)//** All those nights where he said someone called him at work. He was with you and you didn’t even know the whole truth. How could I have been so stupid? Jen: He’s gone now Cheryl. There’s no more lies. And you shouldn’t cry over Derek, because a man like that doesn’t deserve your tears. Cheryl: You’re right. I’m glad you came, Jen. Jen: It was nice talking to you. I guess I’ll go now. Cheryl: Goodbye. Jen: Bye. **//(Exits)//**
 * // (Jen knocks on the door. Cheryl answers) //**
 * // (Jen walks in and they both sit down) //**

Cheryl: Cheryl and Derek later got divorced. Derek: After that, Derek life pretty much fell apart. Jen: He quit his job since he couldn’t bare seeing Jen. Derek: And he lost nearly everything in the divorce. Cheryl: Cheryl and Jen became friends and stayed in touch. Jen: As for Derek, he got what he had coming.