*ILP+Poem*

Hey guys this is a first draft, and I'd like you to help me by peer-editing. First things first, I would like to establish that I don't like writing poetry very much. Therefore, I haven't had a lot of practice. Therefore, I'm not very good at writing them. But I'd like you to read it anyways and voice your opinions Kthnxbye

-- Not as it Seems --

Cackles of laughter echo across the walls Of the theater full of hyenas, kookaburras,  and donkeys. The hot spotlight is blinding your eyes Like the bright morning sun And your voice is magnified a hundred-fold.

“If there's a gun in the glove compartment, Chances are, you're gonna use it. What else are you gonna do if someone cuts you off??  Just let them go?!” Those few sentences Catches the audience in your net And you pull them to the edge of their seats.

You start ranting about the economy, Government, And other things, Voicing your own opinion. Your arms flail and flap like a bird To emphasize certain points you say.

Your quick eyes scan the crowd, Grazing the heads of people all ages. You see them all grinning broadly, And then

The lights shut off. You replace the microphone and walk off stage The cheers and whistles ringing in your ears. Once backstage, your sweat-ridden face droops

The exhaustion shows in your eyes

And your back slumps.

Your wet hair flops as

You sink into a chair becoming a lifeless puppet So different than what you were onstage.

A fellow comedian walks up to you His mouth starts to move

But you can't hear a thing.

Your eyes slowly start to close

And you fall asleep.

~ I feel as though I haven't captured my concept very well :/ But just tell me what you think in the discussion! ~N 3/31/12 I highlighted where I edited/added to the poem kthnx ~N 4/7/12 Wow a lot of edits it's like a blog. Anyways, I re-did a LOT of the poem, as you can see. :P