Maria!

Maria By Harrison Pyros **// (Mr.B is in the front of the class. Thomas, Zack, Angela, David, Maria, and Oscar are sitting in their seats) //** Mr.B: Okay class, remember, you have a science project due next week on Monday. And here’s a surprise: you may pick your partners. Thomas: I call Angela! Angela: O-okay, I guess I’m with Thomas. Sorry David. Mr.B: David, do you have a partner? David: **//(Says disappointedly)//** Yeah, Marty. Maria: It’s Maria. **//(She looks like she has a crush on David)//** ** *Bell rings* //(Everyone starts to walk out of the classroom)// ** David: Hey, wait u— **//(He falls. Thomas has tripped him)//** Thomas: **//(Standing over him)//** I can see that you like Angela, and I understand that. But she’s mine. So I’m warning you right now, back off or bad things are going to happen. Got that? Have a wonderful lunch, David. ** LIBRARY ** Angela: And that way the coconut milk will light the ice cream on fire. **// (Thomas is just staring at her and mumbling, “Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.” Oscar is in the background reading a book. David is sitting at the table behind Thomas and Angela and is staring at them. Maria is at the table in the corner, she is staring at David. Zack is in the left corner closest to the audience standing behind a hot dog stand. Thomas turns around and sees David. He gets up and walks over to Zack) //** Zack: Hot dogs! Fresh hot dogs! **//(He calls like a salesman)//** <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Oscar: SHUT UP! <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Zack: Hot dogs? **//(It’s more quiet and like his feelings are hurt)//** <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Thomas: Dude, what are you doing? You’re supposed to be selling hot dogs for the food club in the //cafeteria//. This is the //library//. <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Zack: Oh, is that why that guy over there keeps telling me to “shut up”? <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Thomas: No duh. Nobody told you this was a library? <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Zack: Well that old lady sitting at the desk did, but I thought she was just crazy. <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Thomas: You know what? I don’t care. While I’m over here, give me some ketchup packets. <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Zack: That’ll be $16.95. <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Thomas: Just give them to me. <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">**// (He hands him the packets) //** <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Zack: You better pay me back. <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Thomas: Don’t hold your breath. **//(He walks back over to where he was sitting and lays the ketchup packets on David’s seat, who had gotten up and was watching Angela dreamily. David sits back down. Everyone mimes getting hit with ketchup as Thomas starts to laugh)//** <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Oscar: Ugh! My book! **//(He storms offstage)//** <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Angela: **//(Staring at her shirt)//** Okay, I’m going to the bathroom. **//(She exits)//** <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Thomas: **//(Talking to David)//** I told you things would get ugly if you didn’t back off my girl. Now I bet Angela thinks you’re a total dork. And next time, it won’t just be a ketchup stain on your butt. **//(Walks offstage)//** <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Maria: **//(Walks up to David)//** Don’t worry David. I think you look hot with ketchup on you. <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">David: Go away, Mandy. <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Maria: It’s Maria! **//(Walks away angrily)//** <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Mr.B: **//(Walks up to David)//** Is this your ketchup? <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">David: No, I— <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Mr.B: Come with me. **//(He takes David by the ear. He starts to pull David offstage while David is saying, “Ow, ow, ow.”)//** You’re going to detention. <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">David: Oh, come on! <span style="display: block; font-family: Georgia,serif; text-align: center;">** THE NEXT DAY ** <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">David: **//(Facing Thomas)//** I’ve had enough of your pranks and threats! You are just a huge jerk! <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">**// (They start fighting in cheesy slow-mo) //** <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Angela: **//(Walks onstage)//** What’s going on?! <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Oscar: **//(Reading a new book. He says his line without looking up and in a bored tone)//** Thomas is a jerk and has been humiliating David so you’ll like him better. So David’s the actual nice one, not Thomas. I can’t believe you didn’t see it. You must be blind. <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Mr.B: Also, David can never seem to remember Mary’s— <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Maria: **//(Offstage)//** It’s Maria! <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Mr.B: **//(He continues as if Maria never said anything)//** – name even though she’s been stalking him since the first grade because she has a huge crush on him. <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Angela: **//(Motions to the fighting)//** Aren’t you going to stop this?! <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Mr.B: Nah, it’s very interesting. <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Angela: then move you old geezer! **//(Pushes Mr.B out of the way)//** <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Mr.B: I’m only TWENTY-FOUR! <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">**// (Angela walks up to Thomas and David and pushes them apart. Then she slaps Thomas) //** <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Angela: You, Thomas, are something I can’t say because we are on school grounds and Mr.B is right over there. **//(Points. Turns to David)//** I’m sorry David. Walk with me? **//(She holds out her hand)//** <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">David: **//(Smiles)//** Sure! **//(They walk offstage hand-in-hand. Mr.B and Oscar also exit leaving Thomas onstage all alone)//** <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Thomas: B-But… I… who… what? <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Maria: **//(Walks up to Thomas and says her next line sympathetically)//** It’s okay, Thomas. <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Thomas: Get lost, Mina. **//(Walks away)//** <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 16px;">Maria: IT’S MARIA!!!