A+Locker+Full+of+Roses

A Locker Full of Roses By Harrison Pyros //(John, Miranda, and Oliver walk onstage. They are headed to Miranda’s locker in the busy middle school hallway.)//

 Oliver: Oh my God. Did you hear how that sub talked? //(Imitates substitute in a nasal voice.)// Class…Class; please get out last night’s homework. We have some very exciting lessons to learn today, kiddies. // (They all laugh.) // = = =Miranda: I don’t think I took a single note in that class period. =

John: Me neither. //(He remembers something.)// Hey, did you guys hear about what’s going on with Tina and Ben?

Oliver: No. What?

John: They’re going out.

Miranda: What? No. I give it a week max.

Oliver: I give it Lunch and a period of math.

John: Wow, Oliver. You’re being very optimistic for the new couple.

Oliver: //(Ignoring the sarcasm.)// Thanks, John.

Miranda: In my opinion, I think dating in middle school is really stupid.

John: How so, Miranda?

Miranda: I mean, what are you going to do? Most parents don’t let the kids go out unless there’s a huge group of friends and from what I’ve seen in the hallways, two people dating means they hug each other on the way to their classes. Whoop-di-doo.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Oliver: That is kind of true.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Miranda: But there are those people who take to the extreme. Extreme, extreme. Worse than making out, and even that bothers me. Really, no one wants to see you swap spit in front of us.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">John: You do know I have a girlfriend right, Miranda?

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Miranda: //(Shrugging.)// Yeah.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">John: Anyway, I’ll meet you guys down on the Lower Field. See ya later. //(He exits.)//

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Oliver: You ready? = = =<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">Miranda: Hold on, let me get my lunch. //(She opens her locker and steps back in surprise. A bunch of roses are filled in her locker.)// Oh my Gosh! Look at all these roses. =

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Oliver: Whoa. //(Nudging her.)// Someone must like you. //(Looks into the locker.)// Hey, look. There’s a note. //(Miranda reaches in and grabs it.)// What does it say? //(She reads it and gasps and puts her hand over her mouth.)//What? What’s the matter?

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Miranda: //(She is emotionally hurt.)// Read it. //(She hands him the paper.)//

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Oliver: //(Reading aloud.)// Roses are read, violets are blue, you’re so ugly, and that’s why I hate you. //(Stops reading.)// That’s horrible!

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Miranda: I know. How can someone write that?

=<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">Oliver: //(Trying reassure her.)// They’re mean and stupid. =

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Miranda: Everyone’s laughing at me.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Oliver: They don’t understand.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">// (There is a pause.) //

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Miranda: Oliver, am I ugly?

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Oliver: What? Oh, no. No, no, no.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Miranda: Am I pretty, then? Oliver, am I pretty?

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Oliver: …Of—Of course you are.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Miranda: You paused. Why did you pause? I—I…Do you think I’m not pretty? You think that, don’t you? Don’t you, Oliver! //(She turns around to leave when Oliver’s voice turns her back around.)//

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Oliver: Miranda, wait. I don’t—

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Miranda: I just can’t talk to you right now, Oliver. Just stop, okay?

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">// (She exits and the scene ends.) //

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">// (Onstage are John and Oliver.) //

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">John: //(Trying to stop laughing.)// Okay, okay, slow down. So then she thought she was ugly?

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Oliver: //(Equally as amused.)// Yeah!

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">John: And before that, she thought someone actually //liked// her?

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Oliver: Yeah! You should have seen her face when she read the poem.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">John: I did. I was watching from the hallway doors. It was hilarious!

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Oliver: Oh God, Vicky’s plan was perfect.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">John: Totally, but props to me for thinking up the poem.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Oliver: True, true. It was totally worth pretending to be that freak’s friend for like two weeks or something.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">John: Definitely. Remember in elementary when she missed school to go to that space convention thing? What a dork.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Oliver: Oh! And remember when her braces got caught so bad in her lips last year that she had to go to the nurse to get them separated? Her face was hysterical! //(Miranda enters.)// ’Sup Miranda.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Miranda: Shut up, Oliver.

=<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">John: Hey. Miranda— =

=<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Miranda: Hey. John, do me a favor and take a long walk off a short pier. = = = =<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Oliver: What’s the matter with you? =

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Miranda: What’s the matter with me? What’s the matter with me? You should know, Oliver! You both should know, you dirty little creeps.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">John: What are you talking about?

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Miranda: //You// put the roses and note in my locker! You made me feel terrible and ugly! Why? Why would you do that? Just for fun? For pleasure? Because you both along with Victoria are sadists? Why?

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Oliver: //(Rolling his eyes.)// You actually think we were your friends? You’re too much of an ugly freak to have friends like us. Let alone any at all.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">// (Miranda slaps Oliver across the face.) //

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">John: What the—? You crazy b—

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Miranda: You better not have almost called me what I think you almost called me.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">John: You want me to say it loud and clear to the world, Miranda? Or would you like me to just tell the truth. You’re ugly. You have no friends. You’re a freak. No one likes you. Do you need me to keep going or do you have the jist of it?

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 19px;">Miranda: //(Not showing she’s affected by any of his insults.)// I heard you earlier, thanks. And you know what you are? You are a stupid, mean kid with no backbone who is nothing but a //coward//. You too, Oliver. You say things behind someone’s back because you aren’t man enough to say it to their face. And what’s the matter with you? You think it’s funny to make me feel like that? You think it’s funny to humiliate me? Well, I got news for you buddy, everyone in the school is staring at us right now and by the looks of it, they think it’s pretty funny that Mighty John and Popular Oliver are being told off by Dumb Ol’ Miranda. And now they know what pathetic pieces of trash you two really are. So go ahead and say whatever you want about me, because frankly, I don’t care what you say about me anymore.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 150%;">**THE END**