Pride+and+Power

Pride and Power

World domination is a very realistic goal.

I believe it was then, In elementary, I began to contend, The social hierarchy.

It seems so long ago…

Fifth grade was the turning point. Something in every repressed child snaps one day. And they can do one of two things: get depressed, or strive to be better. More often, it’s the former. However, I did both. I was deeply disappointed in what life in general was turning out to be, but I made a personal goal. I would obtain all necessary information on the working of the average social structure that makes up our fine schools, and use it to manipulate the mess of subliminal systems and logic that is indeed the social hierarchy; for it was that system which made me in such a predicament in the first place.

I was always the smaller child. I wasn’t very strong, and my intelligence didn’t help trying to fit in. I was often teased about anything from my name, Luke, in relation to “Luke Skywalker” to being scared easily. Being highly sensitive is not helpful if you want to be a boy in elementary school.

I reflect back to one after school choir rehearsal… To put it mildly, being called girly at least thirty times is not helpful to a young boy’s psychology. Moments like being reduced to tears for wearing a “girly” hat during a school choir rehearsal are the moments that deeply hurt. But I learned to be strong. The haters are everywhere, but it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you. All that matters is what //you// think of you. The only way you can ever succeed is to believe in yourself first.

“Dear Luke (Mad Scientist) Keep planning to take over the world – I’ll vote for you! Love, Ms. Yantz”

I followed the words my fourth grade teacher, Ms. Yantz, left me as I began middle school. Now that I think about it, my closest friends in elementary school were probably my teachers. Ms. Yantz was always kind and understanding, and Mr. Card, my fifth grade teacher, and I would talk on various subjects of science and philosophy.

I was a young child, too smart for his own good, with no friend he would honestly trust, and with an ambition to prove himself. Perhaps all the scorn, all the negativity, all the bullying was good for me. I made it my motto to “strive to be better.”

They mock me now, But they don’t know, Some way or how, //They’ll// be the ones below.

I devoted my mind of pure logic to the most daunting, complicated, and imposing system I’ve had to decipher yet: the social school hierarchy. And the more I learned, the more I gained. I used information from sources ranging from the most popular boy of my elementary school, Harrison Pyros, to the ideas of the ever-reclusive Roy Kim.

Harrison Pyros: Hello blonde giant!We are now friends!I’m merely an ant,But won’t be by the end. Roy Kim: We quietly watched it all,The obsessed children,Talking about malls,And other things then.

Choir was one of the few places I felt generally accepted, in the social whirl.

My feet glide in their black homes. The dance shoes scuttle noiselessly. Across the darkened stage they travel. I halt; I'm in position. I turn and put on the mask of my fate. A smile. A lie. //You suck.// My breath is ragged. //Your singing is gay, Luke.// My palms are slicked with moisture. //You're so weird!// My eyes close. //It doesn't matter.// They open. I smile. The curtain raises. // Showtime... //

I entered eighth grade. By then, I was completely fed up with how immature boys were. I committed an act of unspeakable defiance – I hung out with only girls. I wonder if it’s my way with comforting words, or unusual sensitivity to most things, but I get along a lot better with girls than with guys. I put years of accumulated knowledge of my peers to gain popularity. After that, everything seemed to align for once in the existence that is indeed my life…

I find it so funny, that I reached the silly ideas I conjured in my mind so many years before:
 * 1) I’m well known and liked among the school
 * 2) I’m an excellent performer
 * 3) I’m well accepted among the female community
 * 4) I have a girlfriend whom I hold so dear (Who is sadly in high school now)
 * 5) I have approximately 98% of the school seeing me positively (And I don’t care about the haters)

The ones who once tormented me are now envious of my position! I’m //popular//! I’m well liked, and with the girl I love, my life is complete. I climbed the social ladder in an unorthodox way, certainly, but I did nonetheless. And you know what? It’s not that bad, really.

I could have never gotten to where I am now without all the supportive, inspirational people who showed me that there’s always a brighter side somewhere; who gave me reason to keep me going. Thank you, to you all.


 * *Author’s note: **
 * Anthony, I don’t give a [darn] what you say. ****☺ **